"If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!"

--

Demetri Martin

#Funny Quotes #Witty Quotes #Humorous Quotes

“I watched Arsenal in the Champions League the other week playing some of the best football I've ever seen and yet they couldn't have scored in a brothel with two grand in their pockets!”
“Maybe it's a tired tale, but without an education, you're not going to go anywhere.”
“I don't I have everything I want; however, I have a lot and for that I am very grateful.”

Source : Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.
“My decision on this matter is as certain and final as death and the staggering New Deal taxes.”
“You might heckle me now - but when I get home, I've got a chicken in the oven.”
“Painting is, I think, inevitably an archaic activity and one that depends on spiritual values.”

Source : Bridget Riley, Neil MacGregor, Robert Kudielka (1995). “Bridget Riley: dialogues on art”
“I also believe that parents, if they love you, will hold you up safely, above their swirling waters, and sometimes that means you'll never know what they endured, and you may treat them unkindly, in a way you otherwise wouldn't.”
“One of the greatest things in human life is the ability to make plans. Even if they never come true-the joy of anticipating is irrevocably yours. That way one can live many more than just one life.”

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