"My aunt Marge has been so ill for so long that we've started to call her I can't believe she's not better"

-- Milton Jones

#Funny Quotes #Believe Quotes #Aunt Quotes

“I begin by writing paragraphs that donâ€™t have an immediate relation to a plot. The sound of the story comes first.”
“I got lucky. I won the San Francisco Stand-Up Comedy Competition in 1977 while I was still at San Francisco State.”
“I interned at Miramax and subsequently at Paramount because I was really curious about the future of entertainment - how were we going to get films online? While the inspiration for Box didn't come from that experience directly, it was very obvious that bigger businesses had a lot of slow processes and cumbersome technology.”
“The violence or the vaudeville style of comedy is a technique all by itself. You get up there, and you are a comedian, and you're doing one thing. That is, you're going to make the audience laugh.”
“Videogames are indeed design: They're sophisticated virtual machines that echo the mechanical systems inside cars.”
“Laughter, while it lasts, slackens and unbraces the mind, weakens the faculties, and causes a kind of remissness and dissolution in all the powers of the soul.”
“Let me make this real simple. You will not break me. The hole will not break me. I will not break. I will not be broken.”
“Take off your bedroom slippers. Put on your marching shoes,' he said, his voice rising as applause and cheers mounted. 'Shake it off. Stop complainin'. Stop grumblin'. Stop cryin'. We are going to press on. We have work to do.”

Source : Barack Obama's Remarks at Congressional Black Caucus Foundation Annual Phoenix Awards Dinner, obamawhitehouse.archives.gov. September 24, 2011.

You may also like:

Dara O Briain
Stand-up comedian
Ed Byrne
Comedian
Frankie Boyle
Comedian
Gary Delaney
Stand-up comedian
Russell Howard
Comedian
Sean Lock
Comedian
Stewart Francis
Comedian
Tim Vine
Writer
Katherine Ryan
Comedian