"I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait"."

--

Source : Live album: "Mitch All Together". Track 3 "Not Track Five, Not Chainsaw Juggler", December 9, 2003.

Mitch Hedberg

#Wine Quotes #Waiting Quotes #Saws Quotes

“I don't accept at all the quite popular argument that the press is responsible for the monarchy's recent troubles. The monarchy's responsible for the monarchy's recent troubles. To blame the press is the old thing of blaming the messenger for the message.”
“It's so nerve-wracking to go out into a stadium, feeling a billion eyes upon you when you mess up your touches. That's an overwhelming environment.”
“In war it is necessary to kill as many people as possible -- such is the cynical logic of war. Brutality in a fight is unavoidable; have you seen how cruelly children fight in the streets?”
“The planet's spinning a thousand miles an hour around this gigantic nuclear explosion while these people roll these machines with rubber tires over this hard surface that we've laid down over the planet so that we can easily move ourselves back and forth.”
“The first thing to ask when writing a sentence is 'What am I trying to do?'”
“Happiness is a good flow of life,”
“Hollywood and Disneyland are the legacy of Europe's cultural imperialism. We gave them nursery rhymes and they gave back film. Televised riots are as American as Barbie/ Big Macs. Tomorrow the riots will be forgotten but Mickey mouse will still be there. Welcome to Disneyland.”
“My hometown was one of the major U.S. Air Force bases.”

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