"That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it."

-- George Carlin

#Funny Quotes #Sarcastic Quotes #Dream Quotes

“By the choices we make, by the attitudes we exhibit, we are influencing lives every day in positive or negative ways...our family, our peers, our friends, and even strangers we've never met before and will never meet again. So when you brush your teeth every morning, look in the mirror and ask yourself...'Are there things I'd like to change?'”
“There is no moment, ever, that does not either hold an opportunity or a lesson that God is offering.”

Source : Lee L. Jampolsky (2011). “Walking Through Walls: Practical Spirituality in an Impractical World”, p.130, Celestial Arts
“This is an old family secret, and I just found this out recently, and it almost broke my heart. My mother said to me, 'I had never told you this, but God, you were an ugly baby'.”

Source : "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.
“Prison for the crime of puberty -- that was how secondary school had seemed.”

Source : David Brin (2009). “Earth”, p.367, Spectra
“I have no sense of direction at all. Thank the Lord for my TomTom, otherwise I'd spend my whole life lost.”
“The worst mistake of first contact, made throughout history by individuals on both sides of every new encounter, has been the unfortunate habit of making assumptions. It often proved fatal.”
“There is no man more dangerous, in a position of power, than he who refuses to accept as a working truth the idea that all a man does should make for rightness and soundness, that even the fixing of a tariff rate must be moral.”
“When you are in something that you're proud of and it's funny and it's a good night out and all of those things, there's nothing quite like it. The rewards are proportionate to the amount of alarm and distress it causes you.”

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