"I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that."

-- Mitch Hedberg

#Girl Quotes #Mad Quotes #Get Real Quotes

“My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.”
“Life is a very serious business for the simple reason that nobody dies laughing.”
“Plan for the worst, expect the best.”
“I love Audrey Hepburn. I thought she was very classy.”
“My heart's in stage. Making Quadrophenia was exciting because we were riding around on scooters with no crash helmets. But "hurry up and wait" is the anthem of films. Everybody wants you ready, and then you sit doing nothing.”
“The goal of every startup experiment is to discover how to build a sustainable business around that vision.”
“Of moral purpose I see no trace in Nature. That is an article of exclusively human manufacture and very much to our credit.”
“I cut off your hand. I have been living with your grief and your rage and your pain ever since. I don't think-I don't think I had felt anything for a long time before that, but those emotions at least were familiar to me. Love I am not familiar with. I didn't recognize that feeling until I thought I had lost you in Ephrata. And when I thought I was losing you a second time, I realized I would give up anything to keep you-my lip service to other gods, but my pride, too, and my rage at all gods, everything for you.”

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