"Without fake tan I have the skin tones of a dead jellyfish."

-- Jenny Eclair

#Fake Quotes #Skins Quotes #Tone Quotes

“Whatever I hold in my mind tends to manifest itself in my life. What we believe and assume creates most of our reality and our experience.”
“You are not going to be perfect every day. Itâ€™s about turning up the next day and doing it again.”
“Elene gasped and sat up. "Kylar Thaddeus Stern!" Kylar giggled. "Thaddeus? That's a good one. I knew a Thaddeus once." "So did I. He was a blind idiot." "Really?" Kylar said, his eyes dancing. "The one I knew was famous for his gigantic-" "Kylar!" Elene interrupted, motioning toward Uly. "His gigantic what?" Uly asked. "Now you did it." Elene said, "His gigantic what, Kyler?" "Feet. And you know what they say about big feet." He winked lasciviously at Elene. "What?" Uly asked. "Big Shoes," Kylar said.”
“Dali had a good sense of humor - obviously you could tell just looking at him; he was funny.”
“Perhaps my favourite story is 'Le Passe-Muraille' by Marcel Ayme. It's about a guy who wakes up with a weird faculty that means he can walk through walls. He's a very shy clerk, and he uses it to get revenge, or vent his frustration.”
“Best things in life aren't things.”
“Immediate gratification of a live audience makes me come alive. I miss performing in theater. I'll make my return to the stage eventually.”
“The bottom line is that five million low-income Americans working full time for minimum wage, deserve a raise.”

You may also like:

Al Murray
Stand-up comedian
Alan Davies
Comedian
Frank Skinner
Comedian
Janet Street-Porter
Media person
Jo Brand
Actress
Julian Clary
Comedian
Marcus Brigstocke
Comedian
Paul Merton
Writer
Sarah Millican
Comedian