"I never joined the army because at ease was never that easy to me. Seemed rather uptight still. I don't relax by parting my legs slightly and putting my hands behind my back. That does not equal ease. At ease was not being in the military. I am at ease, bro, because I am not in the military."

-- Mitch Hedberg

#Military Quotes #Army Quotes #Hands Quotes

“I became good at defending myself, but as far as I was concerned, that was a transient skill.”
“Treat your mind like your money, don't waste it.”
“The Lampoon was definitely quite formative. You know there's a crazy like kind of network of comedy writers from The Lampoon that are, that kind of you know like Seinfeld and The Simpsons and a lot of shows kind of had a lot of kind of Lampoon writers and so that was very formative. I mean, to me I got interested in comedy writing at an early like reading like Dave Barry.”
“We demand that big business give the people a square deal; in return we must insist that when any one engaged in big business honestly endeavors to do right he shall himself be given a square deal.”
“Nothing so uncertain as general reputation. A man injures me from humor, passion, or interest; hates me because he has injured me; and speaks ill of me because he hates me.”

Source : Henry Home (lord Kames.) (1818). “Introduction to the art of thinking, to which is prefixed an original life of the author”, p.50
“Once the people are terrorized, you can force a police state on them.”
“Everyday create your history, every path you take you're leaving your legacy.”
“For a theory to be scientific it must be capable of being refuted by the evidence. Given that we have had three decades of rising temperature followed by a decade of stable and slightly falling temperatures worldwide, how many decades would you require before you are convinced that the theory on which you are committing Â£400bn of taxpayers' money might be slightly wrong?”

Source : House of Commons debates, www.publications.parliament.uk. June 4, 2009.

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