"All New Years is to me is for taking down your dumb Christmas decorations. People who put up Christmas decorations, all they're saying is, 'Hey, we're not Jews.'"

-- Rich Vos

#New Year Quotes #Funny Christmas Quotes #Years Quotes

“Psychoanalysis can provide a theory of 'progress,' but only by viewing history as a neurosis.”

Source : Norman O. Brown (2012). “Life Against Death: The Psychoanalytical Meaning of History”, p.18, Wesleyan University Press
“Good design today requires more vision (a larger point of view versus the single brilliant idea), more consistency (a deeper underlying structure of language and form versus the simple, uniform application of visual elements) and more patience (persistence over time versus creative authoritarianism).”
“If you lose touch with nature you lose touch with humanity. If there's no relationship with nature then you become a killer; then you kill baby seals, whales, dolphins, and man either for gain, for "sport," for food, or for knowledge. Then nature is frightened of you, withdrawing its beauty. You may take long walks in the woods or camp in lovely places but you are a killer and so lose their friendship. You probably are not related to anything to your wife or your husband.”
“Unless an entire row of people got up in the middle of a performance and left the theater in disgust, I felt as though I hadn't done my job.”
“Dreams touch every level of our life. They may let us glimpse the future, or give suggestions for healing, or share insights into our relationships. Above all, they can and will steer us more directly toward God.”
“Often, what allows someone to behave heroically in dire circumstances is unpalatable in day-to-day life.”
“He should first show them in deeds rather than words all that is good and holy.”
“Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men; although he was twice married, it never occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives' mouths.”

You may also like:

Bill Burr
Comedian
Colin Quinn
Stand-up comedian
Dave Attell
Comedian
Greg Giraldo
Stand-up comedian
Jim Norton
Comedian
Louis C. K.
Comedian
Gary Gulman
Stand-up comedian
Patrice O'Neal
Stand-up comedian
Bonnie McFarlane
Comedian