Harris Wittels famous quotes

Last updated: Sep 5, 2024

I wanna open a Jamaican/Irish/Spanish small plate breakfast restaurant and call it Tapas the Morning to Ja.
-- Harris Wittels

#Morning #Breakfast #Tapas
I hate smoking sections. Unless we're talking about the movie 'The Mask' with Jim Carrey. Then the smoking section is my favorite part.
-- Harris Wittels

#Hate #Talking #Smoking
Wheat Thins? Call me when they're Wheat THICKS! Gimme that wheat!
-- Harris Wittels

#Wheat #Call Me
I'm very reactive, I think. I'm down to throw down with people. Online, of course. Not in person.
-- Harris Wittels

#Thinking #People #Online
What's up? I'm Harris. I'm 33 years young. I have my cousin Jason's truck for two more weeks. I have one testicle-whack a mole accident-and I'm down to clown.
-- Harris Wittels

#Cousin #Years #Two
I'm not getting married until gay people can get married. Because I'm gay.
-- Harris Wittels

#Gay #People #Married
I think all Internet comments should be disengaged. But I kind of live and die by it. It's completely irresistible. It's not like comedy. When I do a podcast or write an episode of TV, I have no feedback for that. That's the only way you know what you're doing is good or bad.
-- Harris Wittels

#Writing #Thinking #Way

Good morning, Eeyore," said Pooh. "Good morning, Pooh Bear," said Eeyore gloomily. "If it is a good morning, which I doubt," said he. "Why, what's the matter?" "Nothing, Pooh Bear, nothing. We can't all, and some of us don't. That's all there is to it." "Can't all what?" said Pooh, rubbing his nose. "Gaiety. Song-and-dance. Here we go round the mulberry bush.
Happy bridegroom, Hesper brings All desired and timely things. All whom morning sends to roam, Hesper loves to lead them home. Home return who him behold, Child to mother, sheep to fold, Bird to nest from wandering wide: Happy bridegroom, seek your bride.
Once upon a time, when men and women hurtled through the air on metal wings, when they wore webbed feet and walked on the bottom of the sea, learning the speech of whales and the songs of the dolphins, when pearly-fleshed and jewelled apparitions of Texan herdsmen and houris shimmered in the dusk on Nicaraguan hillsides, when folk in Norway and Tasmania in dead of winter could dream of fresh strawberries, dates, guavas and passion fruits and find them spread next morning on their tables, there was a woman who was largely irrelevant, and therefore happy.
Every morning I wake up and thank God.
Mrs. Landingham, does the President have free time this morning? The President has nothing but free time, Toby. Right now he's in the residence eating Cheerios and enjoying Regis and Kathie Lee. Should I get him for you? Sarcasm's a disturbing thing coming from a woman of your age, Mrs. Landingham. What age would that be, Toby? Late twenties? Atta boy.
When I wake to the gift of yet another sunrise my first thought is to rouse him and say, I owe you the sight of morning.
I have always wanted to live where one could practice (golf) shots in one's pajamas before breakfast.
There's no buying a greasy breakfast in L.A. - it's all organic juices.
I love pancakes, and I actually do love healthy stuff. Like, I love gluten-free or whole-wheat pancakes. Breakfast is my favorite meal.
Book tours are such a little tapas meal of where I could live.

Harris Wittels famous quotes

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