Ogden Nash famous quotes

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
-- Ogden Nash

#Birthday #Home #Night

If some confectioners were willing To let the shape announce the filling, We'd encounter fewer assorted chocs, Bitten into and returned to the box.
-- Ogden Nash

#Chocolate #Shapes #Encounters

When I ponder my mind I consistently find It is glued On food.
-- Ogden Nash

#Food #Mind #Pondering

The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can't cure, Which is a kind of trouble that is even more troublesome if you are poor.
-- Ogden Nash

#Adversity #Kind #Rich

No, you never get any fun Out of the things you haven't done.
-- Ogden Nash

#Fun #Children #Done

Beneath this slab John Brown is stowed. He watched the ads, And not the road.
-- Ogden Nash

#John Brown #Brown #Slabs

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
-- Ogden Nash

#Funny #Crazy #Silly

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.
-- Ogden Nash

#Fun #Debt #Retiring

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.
-- Ogden Nash

#Doors #Mind #Pressure

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash

#Inspirational #Life #Inspirational Life

Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope.
-- Ogden Nash

#Hope #Dope #Men

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
-- Ogden Nash

#Drinking #Liquor #Candy

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
-- Ogden Nash

#Relationship #Two #People

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
-- Ogden Nash

#Happy #Scratches

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.
-- Ogden Nash

#Doors #Grandparent #Discipline

Bankers are just like anybody else, only richer
-- Ogden Nash

#Bankers #Funny Money

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave, when they think that their children are naive.
-- Ogden Nash

#Children #War #Thinking

Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor.
-- Ogden Nash

#Adversity #Prepared #Oppressed

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
-- Ogden Nash

#Funny Work #People #Sitting

I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash

#Fall #Thinking #Tree

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
-- Ogden Nash

#Morning #Regret #Night

My garden will never make me famous, I'm a horticultural ignoramus.
-- Ogden Nash

#Garden

Smallpox is natural; vaccine ain't.
-- Ogden Nash

#Vaccines #Natural #Smallpox

Why did the Lord give use so much quickness unless it was to avoid responsibility?
-- Ogden Nash

#Responsibility #Giving #Use

The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk.
-- Ogden Nash

#Animal #Cows #Milk

God in His wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.
-- Ogden Nash

#Silly #Made

I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.
-- Ogden Nash

#Sex #Women #Ideas

Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year.
-- Ogden Nash

#Spring #Years #Wind

Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of sleep since Friday. No wonder you feel that lost sensation. You're sunk from a riot of relaxation.
-- Ogden Nash

#Friday #Sleep #Hair

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.
-- Ogden Nash

#Dental #Torture

Tonight's December thirty-first, something is about to burst. The clock is crouching, dark and small, like a time bomb in the hall. Hark, it's midnight, children dear. Duck! Here comes another year!
-- Ogden Nash

#Children #Dark #Years