Warren Farrell famous quotes

When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment.
-- Warren Farrell

#Commitment #Men #Independence

If women had to promise to provide for a man for a lifetime before he removed his veil and showed her his smile, would we think of this as a system of female privilege?
-- Warren Farrell

#Men #Thinking #Promise

The weakness of men is the facade of strength; the strength of women is the facade of weakness.
-- Warren Farrell

#Men #Weakness #Women Strength

Asking the legal system to resolve divorce is like asking a boxing coach to be our marriage counselor.
-- Warren Farrell

#Divorce #Boxing #Legal System

It is in the interests of both sexes to hear the other sex's experience of powerlessness.
-- Warren Farrell

#Sex #Interest #Powerlessness

Male-female fusion does not create women's rights. It creates a fusion of rights.
-- Warren Farrell

#Rights #Female #Doe

The teenage female has less demand to perform and more resources to attract love. Her body and mind are more genetic gifts.
-- Warren Farrell

#Teenage #Mind #Body

During the years I was on the board of directors of the National Organization for Women [chapter] in New York City, the most resistant audiences I ever faced in the process of doing corporate workshops on equality in the workplace were not male executives they were the wives of male executives. As long as her income came from her husband, she was not feeling generous when affirmative action let another woman have a head start vying for her husband's (her) income.
-- Warren Farrell

#New York #Husband #Years

Women's liberation and the male midlife crisis were the same search--for personal fulfillment, common values, mutual respect, love. But while women's liberation was thought of as promoting identity, the male midlife crisis was thought of as an identity crisis.
-- Warren Farrell

#Identity #Midlife #Males

The rules of sexism do not free men from the terror of violence; they only keep men from complaining about it.
-- Warren Farrell

#Men #Violence #Complaining

Alan Alda is loved not because he's sensitive, but because he's successful and sensitive.
-- Warren Farrell

#Successful #Sensitive

[Success as panacea and trap:] The less a man is willing to give up a sex object, the more he'll be trapped into becoming a success object.
-- Warren Farrell

#Sex #Giving Up #Men

In brief, we do more research on men in prison, men in the military, and men in general than we do on women for the same reason we do more research on rats than we do on humans.
-- Warren Farrell

#Military #Men #Research

In the case of a man and a woman [accused of commiting a crime together], both will often agree to the man taking the rap despite the man being more likely to receive a longer sentence and more likely to be raped in prison. If blacks were agreeing to do that for whites, the black community would be smart enough to call that 'learned subservience.
-- Warren Farrell

#Smart #Rap #Men

Feminists often discuss women having two jobs: work and children. True. But no one discusses those divorced and remarried men who have three jobs: work, and two sets of children to nurture and financially support.
-- Warren Farrell

#Jobs #Children #Men

Both parents' rights must be in balance so children can grow up with a balance between both parents.
-- Warren Farrell

#Growing Up #Children #Rights

It is important for a father who feels pushed away [by the mom] to say, in effect, When you do that, I feel unwanted as a father, or I feel my rough-housing is not bad parenting; it's my contribution to helping our child take risks. Women cannot hear what men do not say.
-- Warren Farrell

#Mom #Children #Father

Students coming from father-present families score higher in math and science even when they come from weaker schools.
-- Warren Farrell

#Father #School #Math

For me, the massiveness of what I don't know is one way I experience God. It creates in me a feeling of humility and a sense of gratitude.
-- Warren Farrell

#Gratitude #Humility #Feelings

I feel awed by the mystery of being both so finite and yet so infinite, so much and so little, so conscious and yet, so coincidental.
-- Warren Farrell

#Littles #Mystery #Infinite

The Government as Substitute Husband did for women what labor unions still have not accomplished for men. And men pay dues for labor unions; the taxpayer pays the dues for feminism. Feminism and government soon become taxpayer-supported women's unions.
-- Warren Farrell

#Husband #Men #Feminism

The worst aspect of dating from the perspective of many men is how dating can feel to a man like robbery by social custom - the social custom of him taking money out of his pocket, giving it to her, and calling it a date. To a young man, the worst dates feel like being robbed and rejected. Boys risk death to avoid rejection (e.g., by joining the Army
-- Warren Farrell

#Army #Boys #Men

I've gone from being quite wealthy, when I was defending women, to being quite poor defending men.
-- Warren Farrell

#Men #Gone #Poor

It certainly has not been in my self-interest to defend men.
-- Warren Farrell

#Men #Self #Interest

So while in men's magazines success is a power tool to get sex and love, and therefore the look of success is crucial, in women's magazines love and sex are power tools to get success and therefore both the look of love and the sexual tease/promise are crucial.
-- Warren Farrell

#Sex #Men #Promise

When we suggest that men are at the top because men discriminate, we miss the point. Men are at the top of the work hierarchy because work has been primarily men's responsibility.
-- Warren Farrell

#Responsibility #Men #Missing

In one decade, women had gotten more protection against offensive jokes in the workplace than men had gotten in centuries against being killed in the workplace.
-- Warren Farrell

#Men #Workplace #Offensive

A man convicted of murder is twenty times more likely than a woman convicted of murder to receive the death penalty... Since the 1976 reinstatement of the death penalty, 120 men and only 1 woman have actually been executed. The woman, from North Carolina, said she preferred to be executed... In North Carolina, a man who commits second-degree murder receives a sentence on average of 12.6 years longer than a woman who commits second-degree murder.
-- Warren Farrell

#Men #Average #Years

The legal bias for special protection for women has begun to wreak havoc with the Constitution's guarantee of equal protection.
-- Warren Farrell

#Special #Guarantees #Constitution

Circumcision in the United States is routinely performed without anesthesia, though anesthesia reduces the infant's stress and prevents infection and blood clots.
-- Warren Farrell

#Stress #Blood #Anesthesia

When we commit violence against an infant girl, we call it child abuse; when we commit violence against an infant boy, we call it circumcision.
-- Warren Farrell

#Girl #Children #Boys

Options allow a woman to tailor her role to her personality, but if a man expects to provide well, he expects to wear a suit, not to wear what suits him.
-- Warren Farrell

#Men #Personality #Tailors

Women do not enter a profession in significant numbers until it is physically safe. So until we care enough about men's safety to turn the death professions into safe professions, we in effect discriminate against women. But when we overprotect women and only women it also leads to discrimination against women. ...If [an employer works] for a large company for which quotas prevent discrimination, they find themselves increasingly hiring free-lancers rather than taking on a woman and therefore a possible sexual harassment lawsuit...
-- Warren Farrell

#Men #Numbers #Safety

For thousands of years, most marriages were in Stage I--survival-focused. After World War II, marriages increasingly flirted with Stage II--a self-fulfillment focus... Love's definition is in a transition.
-- Warren Farrell

#War #Self #Years

[H]umans tend to start the process of change by acknowledging themselves thus blacks asserted black pride and black is beautiful; women declared I am woman, I am strong:;; men are saying I am man, I am okay. After a quarter of a century of male bashing, that's not a bad start.
-- Warren Farrell

#Beautiful #Strong #Pride

Empathy is at the core of family stability and love. I've never had a couple come to me and say, I want a divorce; my partner understands me.
-- Warren Farrell

#Couple #Divorce #Empathy

When a government requires a man to support a child he was tricked into creating, that government subsidizes fraud. No. It is worse than that: It subsidizes the woman using a man's body for 18-21 years without his consent.
-- Warren Farrell

#Children #Men #Years

In a sense, in the area of child care, children's relationships with parents' working has come full circle. We have gone from the mom-and-pop store (or mom-and-pop farm), with its integration of child care and work, to children-at-home and dad-at-work; to the mom-plus-daddy working at home, with its integration of childcare and work again. From mom-and-pop back to mom-and-pop.
-- Warren Farrell

#Mom #Children #Dad

Perhaps the best reason to consider the hard sciences is that, well, one study suggests science, engineering, medicine, and dentistry graduates live longer than arts graduates (or law grads). So whatever money you make you can keep a bit longer.
-- Warren Farrell

#Art #Engineering #Law

There are 25 differences in the way women and men behave in the workplace. These 25 differences lead to men receiving higher pay and women having better lives or at least more balanced lives.
-- Warren Farrell

#Men #Differences #Pay

A shared choice movement sees the fetus as the genes of a woman and the genes of a man; the flesh of the woman, the flesh of the man; the bone of a woman, the bone of a man; the responsibility of a woman, the responsibility of a man; the rights of a woman, the rights of a man. It desires a transition to equality.
-- Warren Farrell

#Responsibility #Men #Rights

Just as women needed the help of the law to enter the workplace in the 20th century, men will need the help of the law to love their children in the 21st century.
-- Warren Farrell

#Children #Men #Law

In the past we believed both sexes were born with original sin. Today, we have come to unconsciously believe in the original sin of boys, but the original innocence of girls.
-- Warren Farrell

#Girl #Sex #Believe

Teaching the child to treat boundaries seriously teaches the child to respect the rights and needs of others. Thinking of another's needs creates empathy.
-- Warren Farrell

#Children #Teaching #Thinking

For the first time in human history the psychology that is a prerequisite for intimacy has become the psychology that is a prerequisite for species survival.
-- Warren Farrell

#Psychology #Survival #Firsts

A person working 45 hours per week averages 44% more income than someone working 40 hours per week. That's 44% more income for 13% more time.
-- Warren Farrell

#Average #Income #Hours

There is what might be called a Catch-22 of hazardous occupations: The more hazardous the job, the more men; the more men, the less we care about making the job safer. The Catch-22 of hazardous occupations creates a 'glass cellar' which few women wish to enter. Women are alienated not just out of the fear of being hurt on the job, but by an atmosphere that can make a hazardous job more hazardous than it needs to be.
-- Warren Farrell

#Hurt #Jobs #Men

Without children, men have more liberty to earn less - that is, they are free to pursue more fulfilling and less lucrative careers, like writing or art or teaching social studies.
-- Warren Farrell

#Art #Children #Teaching

By the 1970s, the American woman was being called 'liberated' or 'superwoman' while the American man was being called 'baby killer' if he fought in Vietnam, 'traitor' if he protested, or 'apathetic' if he did neither. Even men who came home paraplegics were literally spit on.
-- Warren Farrell

#Baby #Home #Men

I am often asked why men don't get as worked up as they might about women particularly poor women having to use their bodies as prostitutes. Because most men unconsciously experience themselves as prostitutes every day the miner, the firefighter, the construction worker, the logger, the soldier, the meatpacker these men are prostitutes in the direct sense: they sacrifice their bodies for money and for their families.
-- Warren Farrell

#Sacrifice #Men #Firefighter

Although our grammar schools are teaching a whole generation computer language to adjust to the technological needs of a Stage II [post survival-focused] society, we have neglected to teach this generation relationship language and conflict resolution skills to address the social and psychological needs of a Stage II society. And when it is taught, in countries like Germany, although called social competence it focuses on workplace teamwork -- still on survival, breadwinner oriented work goals.
-- Warren Farrell

#Teamwork #Country #Teaching

By starving our children of men, we have made them more vulnerable to the very abuse we are trying to prevent.
-- Warren Farrell

#Children #Men #Abuse

Sometimes I have a feeling, when I look back on my life, that all I've been through has prepared me perfectly for just what I'm doing now.
-- Warren Farrell

#Feelings #Looks #Sometimes

If my parents had made love a tenth of a second earlier or later, I wouldn't exist. What an enormous miracle, just being given life.
-- Warren Farrell

#Parent #Miracle #Just Being

Ideally there should not be a men's movement but a gender transition movement; only the power of the women's movement necessitates the temporary corrective of a men's movement. And this creates a special challenge for men: There are few political movements filled with healthy people, yet few healthy changes have occurred without political movements.
-- Warren Farrell

#Men #People #Political

Every movement has radicals. But the important thing is that the radicals are not the leaders.
-- Warren Farrell

#Leader #Important #Movement

Because of the feminist perspective, we have gotten a view of the world that is distorted.
-- Warren Farrell

#Views #Perspective #Feminist

Boys with a failure to launch are invisible to most girls. With poor social skills, the boys feel anger at their fear of being rejected and self-loathing at their inability to compete.
-- Warren Farrell

#Girl #Boys #Self

A woman with organizing skills can run a construction company without ever picking up a hammer and nail.
-- Warren Farrell

#Running #Skills #Hammers

Choosing safety is a choice of life over career.
-- Warren Farrell

#Careers #Safety #Choices

In our society, the sound of men complaining is like nails on a chalkboard.
-- Warren Farrell

#Men #Complaining #Our Society

Men rarely worry about using or being used because all relationships work that way. A man perceives himself as owning and being owned by a woman. Use is a dirty word only when theres an imbalance in the relationship.
-- Warren Farrell

#Dirty #Men #Worry

So long as you create laws that define women as victims, as creatures that demand protection, that need bodyguards, you are going to perpetuate the very worst of our sexist past.
-- Warren Farrell

#Past #Law #Long

Women and men look at their life, and women say, What do I need? Do I need more money, or do I need more time? And women are intelligent enough to say, I need more time. And so, women lead balanced lives; men should be learning from women.
-- Warren Farrell

#Intelligent #Men #Needs

Ive always been motivated to stop people from doing dysfunctional things.
-- Warren Farrell

#People #Motivated

By giving women training to sue a company for a 'hostile environment' if someone tells a dirty joke, we are training women to run to the Government as Substitute Husband (or Father). This gets companies to fear women, but not to respect women. The best preparation we can give women to succeed in the workplace is the preparation to overcome barriers rather than to sue: successful people don't sue, they succeed.
-- Warren Farrell

#Running #Husband #Father

Irony: While we increasingly hold people more responsible if they drink and drive, we hold women less responsible if they drink and have sex.
-- Warren Farrell

#Sex #People #Irony

Industrialization created the Father's Catch-22:;: a dad loving his children by being away from the love of his children.
-- Warren Farrell

#Dad #Children #Father

This is the first time in history that we've had this level of luxury, so we have a new opportunity to rethink the way we approach God.
-- Warren Farrell

#Opportunity #Luxury #Levels

When I lose my larger sense of supporting people to be their best, I lessen my contact with the God inside me.
-- Warren Farrell

#People #Contact

If a female employee is offended, a boss would like her to tell him, not sue him.
-- Warren Farrell

#Boss #Female #Employee

If we hold the married man accountable for finances gone legally awry, then the married woman should be held accountable for children who go awry.
-- Warren Farrell

#Children #Men #Gone

The sexist perception that violence by anyone against only women is anti-woman while violence by a woman against only men is just generic violence creates a political demand for laws that are even more protective of women.
-- Warren Farrell

#Men #Law #Political

Women-in-jeopardy movies are, in essence, the updated versions of men dying to save the princess from the dragon to earn her love. They are modern-day training films for teaching women to select the best protectors while weeding out the rest.
-- Warren Farrell

#Weed #Princess #Teaching

When birth control pills were available in Europe but not in the United States, American women created an uproar about how the unwillingness to make the pill available showed a contempt for the lives of women... When the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) released birth control pills with high dosages of hormones that were later found to be unnecessarily high, they were attacked for not caring about women enough to do the necessary tests.
-- Warren Farrell

#Caring #Fda #Europe

Programs like WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) subsidize the exclusion of dads.
-- Warren Farrell

#Dad #Children #Exclusion

Men are the Rosie-the-Riveters of parenting: They're brought in only when needed, and considered disposable thereafter.
-- Warren Farrell

#Men #Rosie #Needed

Solutions: (...) Seek an understanding of the other sex's best intent.
-- Warren Farrell

#Sex #Understanding #Solutions

We can decrease abuse and murder when we get that for both sexes, abuse does not derive from power, but powerlessness.
-- Warren Farrell

#Sex #Abuse #Doe

When we hear men are the greater victims of crime, we tend to say, 'Well, it's men hurting other men.' When we hear that blacks are the greater victims, we consider it racist to say, 'Well, it's blacks hurting blacks.' The victim is a victim no matter who the perpetrator was.
-- Warren Farrell

#Hurt #Men #Matter

Blacks are six times more likely than whites to be victims of homicides.
-- Warren Farrell

#Six #Victim #Homicide

I am a men's liberationist (or "masculist") when men's liberation is defined as equal opportunity and equal responsibility for both sexes. I am a feminist when feminism favors equal opportunities and responsibilities for both sexes. I oppose both movements when either says our sex is THE oppressed sex, therefore, "we deserve rights." That's not gender liberation but gender entitlement. Ultimately, I am in favor of neither a women's movement nor a men's movement but a gender transition movement.
-- Warren Farrell

#Sex #Responsibility #Opportunity

How can I call security a woman's primary fantasy if I am saying it is also her primary need? Because while her primary need is the security of a home and a family circle, her primary fantasy is that someone else will earn enough to pay for them. Hence the focus of 2 billion women on the latest royal wedding.
-- Warren Farrell

#Home #Circles #Focus

The most unacknowledged spending expectation among women is the amount of time spent by single mothers caring for children, not only physically, but psychologically. It is my feeling that only a small percentage of a mother's time is normally compensated for by child support, given what a woman could make adding these hours to workforce hours... It is why women who have never been married and never had children earn so much more in the workplace than women who have had children.
-- Warren Farrell

#Mother #Children #Caring

When only men could register to vote, we required only men to register for the draft. Today both sexes can vote, but only men must register for the draft.
-- Warren Farrell

#Sex #Men #Today

A 2001 survey of business owners with MBAs conducted by the Rochester Institute of Technology found that money was the primary motivator for only 29% of women, versus 76% of men. Women prioritized flexibility, fulfillment, autonomy and safety.
-- Warren Farrell

#Technology #Men #Mba

When men in relationships have more money, we say they have the power. When women in relationships have more money, we say they are being used.
-- Warren Farrell

#Men #More Money #Used

For example, the equivalent of a woman being treated as a sex object is a man being treated as a success object.
-- Warren Farrell

#Sex #Men #Example

It evolved from my experience in the fifties, growing up during the McCarthy era, and hearing a lot of assumptions that America was wonderful and Communism was terrible.
-- Warren Farrell

#Growing Up #America #Hearing

Nobody really believes in equality anyway.
-- Warren Farrell

#Believe #Equality

Our children are better served by speaking not of visitation versus custody, but of parent time.
-- Warren Farrell

#Time #Children #Parent

So we've moved from an era when women's biology was women's destiny to today, which is an era in which men's biology is men's destiny.
-- Warren Farrell

#Destiny #Men #Today

The only men who aren't in fear of women's reactions are usually men who aren't born or who are dead.
-- Warren Farrell

#Men #Reactions #Born

A man perceives himself as owning and being owned by a woman.
-- Warren Farrell

#Men #Perceive

Let's face it: men do a lot of things in the workplace that women just don't do.
-- Warren Farrell

#Men #Faces #Workplace

Men are likely to be quite generous, especially financially.
-- Warren Farrell

#Men #Generous

Men have not stacked the decks against women.
-- Warren Farrell

#Men #Deck

You could make a case that women addicted men to their sexuality and then withdrew their sexuality until we provided them with a source of income.
-- Warren Farrell

#Men #Income #Sexuality

Men’s greatest weakness is their facade of strength, and women’s greatest strength is their facade of weakness.
-- Warren Farrell

#Men #Weakness #Facade

One can make a case that says that since 85% of children being brought up in single family homes are being brought up by women that about 85% of elementary school teachers should be males to balance out the feminization that the boys and girls receive.
-- Warren Farrell

#Girl #Teacher #Children