All STEPHEN COLBERT Quotes about “Books”

“Used books are the sluts of the literary world. Passed around from person to person, spreading their pages for anyone, getting cheaper and cheaper until eventually they end up in prison.”
“I've always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you can't judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book?”
“I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.”
“I don't trust books. They're all fact, no heart. And that's exactly what's pulling our country apart today. Because face it, folks, we are a divided nation. Not between Democrats or Republicans, or conservatives and liberals, or tops and bottoms. No, we are divided by those who think with their head, and those who know with their heart.”
“You said in your book that at the end of the day, every politician is human. What about during the day?”
“I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, and I hope it's the first book you've ever read. Don't make a habit of it.”
“The summer movies are coming out. My advice: just stay home and burn a good book.”
“Think books aren't scary? Well, think about this: You can't spell "Book" without "Boo!”
“I am no fan of books.”
“Pain is the body's way of telling the brain it's in trouble. Similarly, confusion is the brain's way of telling the body, 'All right, buddy, drop that book.”
“Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. Itâ€™s sort of a blog for people with attention spans.”
“When I read books it's to escape. It's so I don't have to talk to people.”
“I spent my first two years at a small all-male college in Virginia called Hampden-Sydney. That was like going to college 120 years ago. The languages, a year of rhetoric, all of the great books, Western Man courses, stuff like that.”
“You don't look up truthiness in a book, you look it up in your gut.”
“And that brings us to tonight's word: Truthiness. Now I'm sure some of the word-police, the 'wordanistas' over at Websters, are gonna say, 'Hey, that's not a word!' Well, anybody who knows me knows that I am no fan of dictionaries or reference books. They're elitist. Constantly telling us what is or isn't true, what did or didn't happen.”

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