Joe Bob Briggs famous quotes

Last updated: Sep 5, 2024

Apparently we love our own cell phones but we hate everyone else's.
-- Joe Bob Briggs

#Hate #Phones #Cells
If you hate what you're seeing, you call it sex and violence. If you like it, you call it "romance and adventure."
-- Joe Bob Briggs

#Sex #Hate #Adventure
Speaking of things that'll make your head explode, "Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story" finally made it to the drive-in
-- Joe Bob Briggs

#Dragons #Stories #Made
I made the mistake of watching "A.I." on cable the week they showed it about 792 times, and I ended up watching it every time it was on.
-- Joe Bob Briggs

#Mistake #Week #Made
Almost every venerable tradition at a men's club starts out as a joke.
-- Joe Bob Briggs

#Men #Clubs #Tradition
A universal draft is most often the instrument of Third World dictators.
-- Joe Bob Briggs

#World #Dictator #Instruments
It's not a crime to get drunk.
-- Joe Bob Briggs

#Drunk #Crime
In some European theaters, it's still not uncommon to have a late start and three LONG intermissions, because people actually eat and drink and converse during the intermissions.
-- Joe Bob Briggs

#Europe #Long #People
SURE-FIRE SINGLES AD: Famous Writer needs woman to organize his life and spend his money. Loves to turn off Sunday football and go to the Botanical Gardens with that special someone. Will obtain plastic surgery if necessary.
-- Joe Bob Briggs

#Football #Sunday #Garden
There is no post-9/11. Everything from now until the end of time is post-9/11.
-- Joe Bob Briggs

#Ends #End Times
The Italians always made good wine, but you had the impression they were friendly guys in straw hats running family vineyards with slaves or something so that the vino was never more than ten bucks a bottle.
-- Joe Bob Briggs

#Running #Wine #Guy
I AM a male chauvinist. Who's been saying otherwise?
-- Joe Bob Briggs

#Males #Male Chauvinist
Everything changed in Bosnia, when General Wesley Clark proved that you could fight a war with high- level precision air strikes and a bare minimum of ground action.
-- Joe Bob Briggs

#War #Fighting #Air
Faith is like a kernel of wheat.
-- Joe Bob Briggs

#Wheat
Discourse is fleeting, but junk mail is forever.
-- Joe Bob Briggs

#Forever #Junk #Fleeting
The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother.
-- Joe Bob Briggs

#Break Up #Fighting #Grandmother
As I've said many times, the single most oppressed class in America right now is the teenager.
-- Joe Bob Briggs

#Teenager #Class #America
The fifties were when people started coming down on "juvenile delinquents," "hoodlums," "vandals"--anybody that was young, wore a motorcycle jacket, and didn't act polite around older people.
-- Joe Bob Briggs

#People #Motorcycle #Young

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