"If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter."

-- George Carlin

#Funny Quotes #Sexy Quotes #Arms Quotes

“If we are serious about combating the childhood obesity epidemic and improving child nutrition, then everyone must chip in -- parents, schools, and yes even Congress.”
“I'm a UFC fighter, a macho-type sport. I am a heterosexual guy in a tough macho sport, which is exactly the reason I feel a duty to say I support gay marriage and gay rights. I have nothing to gain personally from supporting this issue, and that's the point. Society as a whole is better when there is equality, and I want to live in a country where everyone has the same rights because we all benefit from that”

Source : "UFC Fighter Rashad Evans Comes Out In Support Of Gay Marriage" by Jim Budzinski, www.businessinsider.com. March 13, 2013,.
“Those who will not govern themselves are condemned to find masters to govern over them.”

Source : Steven Pressfield (2002). “The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles”, p.37, Black Irish Entertainment LLC
“I realize that it is an unpopular and unhumanitarian position, for which I have been excoriated by 'liberal' colleagues, but I think Plessy v. Ferguson was right and should be re-affirmed,”
“So Stapes conducted a dinner for just the two of us, then informed me of a dozen small but important mistakes I had made. Setting down a dirty utensil was considered crude, for example. That meant it was perfectly acceptable to lick one's knife clean. In fact, if you didn't want to dirty your napkin it was the only seemly thing to do.”
“You can sell millions of records, be showered with all this love and admiration and still feel despised and unwanted. That's what I felt. I've made a lot of mistakes I'm not proud of.”
“Too often, the opportunity knocks, but by the time you push back the chain, push back the bolt, unhook the two locks and shut off the burglar alarm, it's too late.”
“People more think of me as a party animal. Which, I am a self-proclaimed party animal, but I'm also the hardest working person you'll ever know.”

You may also like:

Alex Winter
Actor
Bill Hicks
Comedian
Bill Maher
Comedian
Johnny Carson
Host
Lenny Bruce
Comedian
Louis C. K.
Comedian
Richard Pryor
Comedian
Sam Kinison
Comedian
Kelly Carlin-McCall
Actress