"A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children."

-- David Brenner

#Funny Quotes #Witty Quotes #Laughter Quotes

“So now I just assume that it won't work, and that if it does work, I'll lose it anyway. This is meant to protect me, although it doesn't, because somehow the hope sneakily finds its way in. I'm never aware of the hope until it's gone, whooshed away like a rug pulled from under my feet, each time I hear another "I'm sorry.”
“There is no reconciliation until you recognize the dignity of the other, until you see their view- you have to enter into the pain of the people. You've got to feel their need.”
“I'd like to have the script in a much better place from day one of shooting, rather than trying to continue to work on it while you shoot it. I think those are lessons you learn on any film.”
“If anyone dared to assert that the Pontiff had erred in this or that canonisation, we shall say that he is, if not a heretic, at least temerarious, a giver of scandal to the whole Church, an insulter of the saints, a favourer of those heretics who deny the Church's authority in canonizing saints, savouring of heresy by giving unbelievers an occasion to mock the faithful, the assertor of an erroneous opinion and liable to very grave penalties.”
“Yesterday people were going past my window in t shirts and dresses. But that's the men at the BBC for you.”

Source : "Weather" by Eddie Mair, www.bbc.co.uk. September 22, 2006.
“I read the first book about five times while I was preparing for the role. I really wanted to completely embody Lissa and, naturally the book gave me much deeper psychological and emotional insight into Lissa than the script.”
“It's important that we regularly reconsider, revise, and expand our practices, as our capabilities and needs evolve, both to strengthen our understanding of them and to promote our awareness of new practices and their conscientious uses.”
“That's how our system works. It's a giant con game. One thing gets old, then you have to buy the next thing that gets old, then the next thing. Our whole society's a training ground for addicts.”

Source : Tim Tharp (2014). “The Spectacular Now”, p.82, Scholastic UK

You may also like:

David Letterman
Talk show host
Don Rickles
Comedian
Garry Shandling
Comedian
James Rebhorn
Actor
Joan Rivers
Television Personality
Johnny Carson
Host
Richard Lewis
Comedian
Robert Klein
Stand-up comedian
Sid Caesar
Actor