"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."

-- Steven Wright

#Death Quotes #Suicide Quotes #Food Quotes

“Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes.”

Source : "Lives and Opinions of the Eminent Philosophers (§ 12)". Book by Diogenes Laertius, circa 200 AD.
“An examination of Indian Vedic doctrines shows that it is in tune with the most advanced scientific and philosophical thought of the West.”
“There were various aspects of Sun Tzu's approach that appealed to Ho Chi Minh: a) to learn to understand both the enemy and yourself, to seek out his weaknesses and your own strengths, and act accordingly, b) to make ample use of subterfuge and stratagem in order to defeat or disarm your adversary, and c) to use outright violence only when absolutely necessary in the belief that political struggle was more effective than military struggle.”
“True technique will know how to maintain the illusion of liberty, choice, and individuality; but these will have been carefully calculated so that they will be integrated into the mathematical reality merely as appearances!”
“Iâ€™ve never enjoyed myself more than I have the past forty-eight hours, during which Iâ€™ve been trapped in a car with one of the worst drivers Iâ€™ve ever seen, run up the Spanish Steps and then down again so I could be on time to wait in line to perjuer myself at the American consulate. And Iâ€™d like to continue doing those sorts of thing with you on a regular basis for the foreseeable future.”
“If there's anything I'm not pompous about, it's myself or my work. But I seem to be able to play it.”
“I don't think Bollywood is only mindless cinema, but a lot of films they churn out are not films that I completely enjoy watching.”
“A women loves you not for the things you do for her, but for the things she does for you.”

Source : Shepherd Mead “How to Succeed with Women Without Really Trying”, The Shepherd Mead Estate

You may also like:

Bill Hicks
Comedian
Bobcat Goldthwait
Actor
Demetri Martin
Comedian
Emo Philips
Entertainer
George Carlin
Comedian
Groucho Marx
Comedian
Johnny Carson
Host
Louis C. K.
Comedian
Mitch Hedberg
Comedian