"My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeetâ€¦oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool."

-- Anthony Jeselnik

#Girlfriend Quotes #Kings Quotes #Bird Quotes

“Most previous immigrants came to the United States to become Americans, with no intention of returning home. They relinquished their ties with their homeland. English was their key to prosperity, and they worked hard to master it.”
“I was completely swept along with my own compulsion. I don't know how else to put it. It didn't satisfy me completely, so maybe I was thinking, 'Maybe another one will. Maybe this one will.' And the numbers started growing and growing and just got out of control, as you can see.”
“I think there are two types of photographers, those who want to document the world and those who want to create their own world. I am more interested in documenting the world and presenting it to people with the question attached, 'Does this make any sense to you?'”
“Science fiction fans are the smartest fans in television. They just are. They're just so smart, and they know so much detail and information. They're a part of the story and they inform your character, as well. We all listen to the fans, and we love their feedback and the attention they give us.”

Source : Source: collider.com
“Although anxiety is part of life, never let it control you.”
“Wow", he rasped. "Do you emasculate all the men, or am I speacial?”
“In the field of sports you are more or less accepted for what you do rather than what you are.”
“One of the first things which a physician says to his patient is, ~Let me see your tongue.~ A spiritual advisor might often do the same.”

You may also like:

Amy Schumer
Stand-up comedian
Daniel Tosh
Comedian
Dave Attell
Comedian
Greg Giraldo
Stand-up comedian
Jeff Ross
Stand-up comedian
John Mulaney
Actor
Pete Holmes
Comedian
Whitney Cummings
Comedian
Patrice O'Neal
Stand-up comedian