"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?"

--

Source : "Are these Britain's greatest wits ... or twits?" by Stephen Moss, www.theguardian.com. October 15, 2007.

Paul Merton

#Funny Quotes #Humorous Quotes #Air Quotes

“By the time I got home at night, my eyes were so chlorinated I saw rings around every light.”
“God gave me my money.”
“You did it! Congratulations! World's best cup of coffee! Great job, everybody! It's great to be here.”
“Until the first blow fell, no one was convinced that Penn Station really would be demolished, or that New York would permit this monumental act of vandalism against one of the largest and finest landmarks of its age of Roman elegance. Any city gets what it admires, will pay for, and, ultimately, deserves. Even when we had Penn Station, we couldnâ€™t afford to keep it clean. We want and deserve tin-can architecture in a tinhorn culture. And we will probably be judged not by the monuments we build but by those we have destroyed”
“When I played Lady Day, I took Aba onstage with me as a joke. He started singing-in tune!-and the audience loved it.”
“There's only two kinds of music: the blues and zippety doo-dah.”
“I think movies glamorize violence, in the sense that they make it in a way that it's either cool or funny.”
“That torture is wrong can never be the conclusion to any line of reasoning because it has to be a fundamental premise. Witnessing to the humanity of the other is the place where all moral reasoning must begin.”

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