"They had to ask spain I think, they've had to say to Spain, can you lend us some stuff for the roads, and it's Gordon Brown phoning up going 'pass the salt'"

-- Michael McIntyre

#Witty Quotes #Thinking Quotes #Stuff Quotes

“Your calling is where your own greatest joy intersects with the needs of the world.”
“Good scripts are hard to find.”
“Britney Spears can't hold a conversation. (mind controlled) The ultimate meltdown was Britney Spears. But she (Spears) can't hold a conversation. No. They have someone who feeds her what she is supposed to say. Like she can't hold a conversation.”
“When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks.”

Source : Natalie Clifford Barney, Anna Livia (1992). “A Perilous Advantage: The Best of Natalie Clifford Barney”, p.110, New Victoria Publishers
“I want to do movies but not talk about them.”
“Mules and human jackasses are proverbially stubborn.”
“Whether you like it or not, you are committed to the human endeavor. I cannot ally myself with such a purely negative goal as avoidance of suffering. Suffering is a chance you take by the fact of being alive.”
“No matter how often I think I can't stand it anymore, I always do. There is no alternative. I don't fall, I don't foam at the mouth, faint, collapse or die. It's the same for all of us. You can't get out of the inside of your own head. Something keeps you going. Something always does.”

Source : Janice Galloway (1989). “The Trick is to Keep Breathing: A Novel”

You may also like:

Dara O Briain
Stand-up comedian
Frankie Boyle
Comedian
Graham Norton
Presenter
Jack Dee
Comedian
James Corden
Actor
Jimmy Carr
Comedian
John Bishop
Stand-up comedian
Peter Kay
Comedian
Russell Howard
Comedian