"My life needs editing."

-- Mort Sahl

#Funny Quotes #Witty Quotes #Humorous Quotes

“Try not to trip. We donâ€™t have time for a concussion today.”
“When you come into the world you have nothing... when you leave you have nothing... and in between there's the IRS.”
“Innocence and mystery never dwell long together.”
“Ah, that shows you the power of music, that magician of magician, who lifts his wand and says his mysterious word and all things real pass away and the phantoms of your mind walk before you clothed in flesh.”
“In the Senate race I went for some candidate endorsement meetings and three people there asked me: Do you go to a therapist? Because they could not believe that with the beating I took in the mayor's race I could still come in there cracking jokes and talking about the issues!”

Source : Source: www.sfgate.com
“You can't really explain competing in Olympic event to someone. You can say, "Oh, that was really tough." And that literally means nothing to someone. If you can give some sort of comparison, because that's really all track and field is about any way....Usain Bolt runs a time and you get to see what everybody else's time is. It would just be interesting to compare Olympians to somebody who doesn't train their whole life.”

Source : Source: wwd.com
“I saw novelists as being admirable people and I thought... I thought... maybe, one day, I could be one of them.”
“Teamwork is the glue which binds losers together”

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