"I avoid any kind of organised trips as that's one of my bugbears."

--

Johnny Vegas

“His talent was as natural as the pattern that was made by the dust on a butterfly's wings. At one time he understood it no more than the butterfly did and he did not know when it was brushed or marred.”
“Im Sorry was one of the first songs to come out of Nashville using strings.”
“I have always laid it down as a maxim -and found it justified by experience -that a man and a woman make far better friendships than can exist between two of the same sex -but then with the condition that they never have made or are to make love to each other.”
“Eventually we will find (mostly in retrospect, of course) that we can be very grateful to those people who have made life most difficult for us.”
“Separating them were two layers of brick, a few inches of plaster, and nine years of silence.”
“If I produce it, I will stage it as a performance. A small audience will be invited; rehearsals of the sections will be done in the mornings, and those sections will be recorded in the afternoons.”
“Writing is a weapon and itâ€™s more powerful than a fist could ever be.”
“Ex-convicts prepared the eggs for the White Houseâ€™s Easter Egg Roll. Itâ€™s nice to see the White House reaching out to former members of Congress.”

You may also like:

Fern Britton
Television presenter
Harry Hill
Comedian
Jonathan Ross
Television presenter
Matt Lucas
Comedian
Peter Kay
Comedian
Sean Lock
Comedian
Sheridan Smith
Actress
Stewart Lee
Comedian
Vic Reeves
Comedian