"I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout."

--

Source : 25 of Joan Rivers' best jokes, www.cnn.com. September 5, 2014.

Joan Rivers

#Husband Quotes #Trout Quotes #My Husband Quotes

“If you're straight, if you're gay - hey, if you're a horse - and I appeal to you, great!”
“It is better to go bruised to heaven than sound to hell.”

Source : Richard Sibbes (1995). “Light from Heaven”, p.15, Sovereign Grace Publishers,
“It maketh God man, and man God; things temporal, eternal; mortal, immortal; it maketh an enemy a friend, a servant a son, vile things glorious, cold hearts fiery, and hard thing liquid.”
“The women who take husbands not out of love but out of greed, to get their bills paid, to get a fine house and clothes and jewels; the women who marry to get out of a tiresome job, or to get away from disagreeable relatives, or to avoid being called an old maid -- these are ***** in everything but name. The only difference between them and my girls is that my girls gave a man his money's worth.”
“Faith in the supernatural is a desperate wager made by man at the lowest ebb of his fortunes.”
“Every citizen's vote should count in America, not just the votes of partisan insiders in the Electoral College. The Electoral College was necessary when communications were poor, literacy was low and voters lacked information about out-of-state figures, which is clearly no longer the case.”
“If the Iraqis fail to implement the reforms, if they fail to get a handle on the violence, there's nothing the United States can do, militarily or otherwise, that can solve those problems. They have to assume the primary responsibility to govern themselves.”
“Suddenly, I was just sure he was going to kiss me. He was there, I could feel his breath, the ground solid beneath us. But then something crossed his face, a thought, a hesitation, and he shifted slightly. Not now. Not yet. It was something I'd done so often - weighing what I could afford to risk, right at that moment - that I recognized it instantly. It was like looking in a mirror.”

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