"A woman in Great Britain has died after being hit in the back of the head by a golf ball, on the first hole. Her husband was so distraught, he only played the front nine."

-- Jay Leno

#Husband Quotes #Golf Quotes #Balls Quotes

“Modern man thinks he loses something - time - when he does not do things quickly. Yet he does not know what to do with the time he gains, except kill it.”
“I've got a new invention. It's a revolving bowl for tired goldfish.”
“Sometimes the best ideas I have are in my bathtub or in my bed or in my dreams early in the morning before waking up ... I'm like a TV antennae, I catch it all and do it my way.”
“We all want things that are not necessarily essential, but we always choose those actions which we think will best improve the situation from our viewpoint. This means that the ideas that men hold determine their choice of actions. This means that the most important thing in the world is ideas.”
“Even when we fancy we have grown wiser, it is only, it may be, that new prejudices have displaced old ones.”
“There wasn't a lot of music in the home when I was growing up. We didn't have a piano or anything like that but my grandmother, had been a well-known piano teacher.”
“Who writes your name in letters of smoke among the stars of the south? Oh let me remember you as you were before you existed.”
“I think all old folk's homes should have striptease. If I ran one I'd have a striptease every week.”

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