"New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive."

-- Jay Leno

#New Year Quotes #Holiday Quotes #Years Quotes

“Twenty years from now, I hope I'm consistently in my life, in the zone. I have seen the next year before.”
“It's so hard to retain what your purpose is - or to even realize what it is.”
“At any given moment there is an orthodoxy, a body of ideas of which it is assumed that all right-thinking people will accept without question. It is not exactly forbidden to say this, that or the other, but it is "not done" to say it... Anyone who challenges the prevailing orthodoxy finds himself silenced with surprising effectiveness. A genuinely unfashionable opinion is almost never given a fair hearing, either in the popular press or in the high-brow periodicals.”
“I could give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter.”
“Stand-up will always come first. I've been doing it for 22 years, and nothing compares to that connection you have with the audience. It's euphoric.”
“Jesus became a God and reached His great state of under-standing through consistent effort and continuous obedience to all the Gospel truths and universal laws.”
“Farrell's Bar in Brooklyn had urinals so large they looked like shower stalls for Toulouse-Lautrec.”
“[To a photographer who said, 'Look this way, love':] I am not your 'love.' I am Your Royal Highness!”

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