"Vomit and feces are two reason I have decided not to procreate."

-- Chelsea Handler

#Funny Quotes #Two Quotes #Comedy Quotes

“Love is something that never goes out of style. It's something everybody experiences, and if they are not in love, people usually want to feel that.”
“Be a philosopher but, amid all your philosophy be still a man.”
“I learned that a long walk and calm conversation are an incredible combination if you want to build a bridge.”
“Your tax dollars are being used to pay for grade school classes that teach our children that CANNIBALISM, WIFE-SWAPPING, and the MURDER of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior.”
“Art is a war - between ourselves and the forces of self-sabotage that would stop us from doing our work. The artist is a warrior.”

Source : "10 Questions with Steven Pressfield, Author of The War of Art". Interview with Jeff Goins, goinswriter.com. May 11, 2011.
“I can't heal your pain but I can see it. And you don't have to be lost. Not forever.”
“It took me a while to figure it out, but to have a real hit on Broadway, you have to get the respected Broadway people to like it. But then the production also has to appeal to the most middle-class people who know nothing about Broadway and who come to see it later.”
“What you don't want to do is dig around here like a groundhog on crack.”

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