"Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas"

-- W. C. Fields

#Religious Quotes #Xmas Quotes #Prayer Quotes

“Andrew Luck, if he gets to his first Super Bowl and he wins that Super Bowl, that means he won on the road every game except for that first playoff game. He went and beat Peyton Manningâ€¦Then that means he went and beat Tom Bradyâ€¦Then he would either have to beat Aaron Rodgers or the Seattle Seahawks. Thatâ€™s a pretty tough hill to climb. If he does that, heâ€™s just solidified himself in that conversation as an elite quarterback.”
“Keith Deller's not just an underdog, he's an underpuppy!”
“A women needs ropes and ropes of pearls.”
“Do you realize that I have had five albums in the Top 30. Elvis and The Beatles have never done that. I had five singles in the Top 5, I mean, no one's ever done that.”
“They don't tell you this in school, Everybody plays the fool.”
“To restore morality we must first recognize the source from which all morality springs. From our earliest history in 1776 when we were declared to be the United States of America, our forefathers recognized the sovereignty of God.”
“I like having options, alternate lives unlived but always possible.”
“Your ideal possession candidate's a thirteen-year-old recently orphaned schizophrenic girl three days away from her period on her way to see the shrink with whom she's romantically besotted.”

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