Craig Benzine famous quotes

During a heat wave every dude stinks.
-- Craig Benzine

#Heat #Wave #Stink

Cars and bumper cars are two very different things. NEVER sleep in a bumper car.
-- Craig Benzine

#Sleep #Two #Car

I'd choose truth over cake but I'd try to find a way to get both to be honest.
-- Craig Benzine

#Cake #Trying #Way

Bird Poop in the mouth is always a surprise.
-- Craig Benzine

#Bird #Poop #Mouths

Always go to the bathroom before you ‘go’ to the bathroom.
-- Craig Benzine

#Bathroom

Things that don't exist do exist. They're just really fast.
-- Craig Benzine

Based on this one experience I had, jumping to conclusions is always really stupid.
-- Craig Benzine

#Stupid #Jumping #Conclusion

Don’t put clothes on food. It’s supposed to be naked.
-- Craig Benzine

#Clothes #Naked

I love it when the coffee's done!
-- Craig Benzine

#Coffee #Done

Theres nothing to fear but fears themselves, such as monsters, rejection, food poisoning, redundancy, monsters, and oxford commas.
-- Craig Benzine

#Oxford #Rejection #Monsters

Everything is optional. Somethings are illegal. And some things are really gross.
-- Craig Benzine

#Illegal #Gross

It's better to have won & lost than to have won, stopped trying, & descended into alcoholism.
-- Craig Benzine

#Trying #Lost #Alcoholism

Nothing is perfect. Therefore, being perfect is being nothing… and that's a great way to lose weight.
-- Craig Benzine

#Perfect #Weight #Way

Options are good. Keeps people choosing.
-- Craig Benzine

#People

Blanket statements are always stupid. NO EXCEPTIONS!
-- Craig Benzine

#Stupid #Blanket #Exception

The good thing about living like me is everywhere you go is a step up.
-- Craig Benzine

#Steps #Good Things #Step Up

The only good excuse for not succeeding is DEATH! Unless you're trying to be a ghost. Then it's LIFE!
-- Craig Benzine

#Trying #Succeed #Ghost

The grass is always greener when it's covered in money.
-- Craig Benzine

#Grass #Greener #Covered

Be cautious of bears at all times, even when being mauled by a tiger.
-- Craig Benzine

#Bears #All Time #Cautious

It's better to have a broken CD player that worked once than to never have evolved into a self-aware carbon based lifeform.
-- Craig Benzine

#Player #Self #Cds

Visiting Saturn sounds like a lot of fun but you will die!
-- Craig Benzine

#Fun #Sound #Saturn

Are imperfections is which make we grate.
-- Craig Benzine

#Imperfection #Grate

People alive are better than people not alive.
-- Craig Benzine

#People #Alive

I would hate to be a bee. Be surrounded by bees all the time.
-- Craig Benzine

#Hate #Bees

Failure is not an option. It just happens all the time. Like, all the time.
-- Craig Benzine

#Failure Is Not An Option

Never put a foot down in the middle of a foot rub.
-- Craig Benzine

#Feet #Middle

At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote.
-- Craig Benzine

#Sound #Fart

If you're gonna lob something, lob love.
-- Craig Benzine

Dont get scared of death. Get rich! Then die.
-- Craig Benzine

#Scared #Rich #Get Rich