Mike Royko famous quotes

04-12-2025

It's much harder to be a liberal than a conservative. Why? Because it is easier to give someone the finger than a helping hand.
-- Mike Royko

#Hands #Giving #Conservative
Strict gun laws are about as effective as strict drug laws...It pains me to say this, but the NRA seems to be right: The cities and states that have the toughest gun laws have the most murder and mayhem.
-- Mike Royko

#Pain #Gun #Law
Show me somebody who is always smiling, always cheerful, always optimistic, and I will show you somebody who hasn't the faintest idea what the heck is really going on.
-- Mike Royko

#Optimistic #Ideas #Cheerful
It's unnatural for people to run around the city streets unless they are thieves or victims. It makes people nervous to see someone running. I know that when I see someone running on my street, my instincts tell me to let the dog go after him.
-- Mike Royko

#Running #Dog #Cities
All that proves is that most of the world is too poor to build bowling alleys, golf courses, tennis courts and baseball fields. There's hundreds of millions of poor people out there who still ain't got indoor plumbing, but that don't mean there's something great about an outhouse. Soccer is boring. I've never seen a more boring sport.
-- Mike Royko

#Soccer #Sports #Baseball
It's been my policy to view the Internet not as an 'information highway,' but as an electronic asylum filled with babbling loonies.
-- Mike Royko

#Views #Bipolar #Asylums
If God dislikes gays so much, how come he picked Michelangelo, a known homosexual, to paint the Sistine Chapel ceiling while assigning Anita Bryant to go on television and push orange juice?
-- Mike Royko

#Gay #Orange #Goes On
A Pessimist sees the glass as half empty; A Cub Fan wonders when it's gonna spill.
-- Mike Royko

#Glasses #Fans #Half
There is only one way to solve the alleged crisis of the erosion of 'family values.' And that is to get right down to the root cause of the problem.
-- Mike Royko

#Roots #Erosion #Way
The subject of criminal rehabilitation was debated recently in City Hall. It's an appropriate place for this kind of discussion because the city has always employed so many ex-cons and future cons.
-- Mike Royko

#Cities #Rehabilitation #Criminals
Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers, and cheating on your income tax.
-- Mike Royko

#Baseball #Mother #Cheating
Anyone who contributes to the defense fund of pornographers is a mental moonbeam.
-- Mike Royko

#Defense #Moonbeams #Fund
Hollywood is right. A good and strong movie can have a more powerful social impact than any and all political speeches or newspaper editorials and columns.
-- Mike Royko

#Strong #Powerful #Impact
Forty years ago, we were on the tail of the Front Page era. There was a different point of view. Reporters and editors were more forgiving of public people. They didn't think they had to stick someone in jail to make a career.
-- Mike Royko

#Thinking #Views #Years
When Michael Jordan quit, I suddenly found myself without a sports hero.
-- Mike Royko

#Sports #Hero #Jordan
Hollywood likes to boast that it can elevate the national conscience.
-- Mike Royko

#Likes #Hollywood #Boast
Hollywood has always been political. They consider it their right and duty to tell us what is politically good and right.
-- Mike Royko

#Political #Hollywood #Duty
Reagan's approach will achieve one of the basic goals of the conservative: Things remain basically the same. The rich stay rich and the poor stay poor, or even a little poorer.
-- Mike Royko

#Goal #Littles #Conservative
Contrary to popular belief. It's much wiser to take money from the poor than the rich.
-- Mike Royko

#Belief #Rich #Poor
It's no coincidence that female interest in the sport of baseball has increased greatly since the ballplayers swapped those wonderful old-time baggy flannel uniforms for leotards.
-- Mike Royko

#Sports #Baseball #Flannels
In attacking the young, the liberal, and the black, Daley was in the mainstream of America's mass prejudices. The Democratic party may have suffered by his actions, but Daley came out...even more popular than before because bust their heads was the mood of the land and Daley had swung the biggest club.
-- Mike Royko

#Party #Land #America
When I asked him how long he had been driving a taxi, he said, Dree mouse.
-- Mike Royko

#Long #Driving #Said
I never went to a John Wayne movie to find a philosophy to live by or to absorb a profound message. I went for the simple pleasure of spending a couple of hours seeing the bad guys lose.
-- Mike Royko

#Couple #Philosophy #Simple
God tipped the country and all the fruits and nuts rolled west.
-- Mike Royko

#Country #Nuts #West
Newspapers, magazines and other publications have the constitutional right to be offensive, even disgusting. As evidence of that, just watch this space regularly.
-- Mike Royko

#America #Space #Magazines
Whether one eats a cat or not is a personal choice, and I don't want to sway anyone one way or another. But if you do, there is one obvious cooking tip: Always remember to remove the bell from the cat's collar before cooking.
-- Mike Royko

#Cat #Choices #Cooking

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