"I can't be gay! I'm a happily married conservative, just like Ted Haggard and Larry Craig."

--

Stephen Colbert

#Gay Quotes #Conservative Quotes #Married Quotes

“As if one crime of such nature, done by a single man, acting individually, can be expiated by a similar crime done by all men, acting collectively.”
“While the other guy's sleeping? I'm working. While the other guy's eatin'? I'm working.”
“It is a very unusual sector and the one thing I would ask of them is to understand that for most of them one-third of their films are being financed by the taxpayer and that carries huge accountability and responsibility.”

Source : "New tax break will help British film-makers take on Hollywood" by Dan Milmo, www.theguardian.com. September 17, 2004.
“My take on what happened with the moon landing was [......] they suspect [ sic ] that on impact that the cameras would be damaged because back in 1969 cameras weren't, you know, like they are today, as good. So they had a studio set up at CBS to mimic the moon landing. And sure enough the cameras broke and so they flipped, you know, the CBS studio on. And what you saw of the footage of the '69 moon landing was actually at CBS studio.”

Source : "Creation Evolution and Dinosaurs session #5 Q&A". January 2002.
“It is true that when we take chances, we stand to lose. But it is also true that we will never win anything if we never even enter the game. Lucky people are aware of the possibility of losing, and indeed they may lose often. But since the chances they take are small, the losses tend to be small. By being willing to accept small losses they put themselves in position to make large gains.”

Source : Max Gunther (2010). “The Luck Factor: Why Some People Are Luckier Than Others and How You Can Become One of Them”, p.166, Harriman House Limited
“She thought she would know when it happened. But now, as she looked around, she wondered if it was really like that at all. Maybe it happened in a million different ways, when you were thinking of it and you weren't. Maybe there was no gap, no jump, no chasm. You didn't forget yourself all at once. Maybe you just looked around one time or another and you thought, Hey. And there you were.”
“I had got this far, and was thinking of what to say next, and as my habit is, I was pricking the paper idly with my pen. And I thought how, between one dip of the pen and the next, time goes on, and I hurry, drive myself, and speed toward death. We are always dying. I while I write, you while you read, and others while they listen or stop their ears, they are all dying.”
“I think when you are a cool guy but also a hot guy, that makes you even more sexy.”

Source : "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

You may also like:

Bill Maher
Comedian
Craig Ferguson
Talk show host
Donald Trump
Investor
Jimmy Fallon
Television host
John Oliver
Comedian
Jon Stewart
Satirist
Larry Wilmore
Producer
Samantha Bee
Actress
Trevor Noah
Comedian