"Most people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the ***** stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males, which they then use to inseminate one another using turkey basters in order to create a legion of demon babies. Well, that's only part of it. We are also active in community outreach programs."

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Source : "Wigfield". Book by Amy Sedaris, Paul Dinello, and Stephen Colbert, 2003.

Amy Sedaris

#Baby Quotes #Thinking Quotes #Order Quotes

“Straight Americans need an education of the heart and soul. They must understand - to begin with - how it can feel to spend years denying your own deepest truths, to sit silently through classes, meals, and church services while people you love toss off remarks that brutalize your soul.”
“I think that the whole voyeuristic attitude of filmmakers or of me personally - of shooting documentaries and so forth - is an important issue. And it was an important issue to me, personally. And the whole question of when - when do you put the camera down or when do you keep shooting to get the shot. And a number of times in my life I've had that question hit me very hard.”

Source : "Remembering Oscar-Winning Cinematographer Haskell Wexler". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. December 29, 2015.
“I live on a bicycle...I live in central London, probably 90 percent of my travel is done on a bicycle. I love bicycles.”
“Every day I am trying to improve my life.”
“My great mistake, the fault for which I canâ€™t forgive myself, is that one day I ceased my obstinate pursuit of my own individuality.”
“It's a sick thing, right: people are afraid of public speaking. I do public speaking, except my public speaking involves the audience only having one type of emotion and one type of reaction. If they have anything other than laughter, it's a failure. That's an absurd thing for a human to try to seek. The main thing to realize is that whatever I say, it's my truth and I believe in it, and if I don't get a laugh off that, then it's not working.”

Source : Source: www.interviewmagazine.com
“Life's a wheel of fortune and it's my chance to spin it.”
“If I could email my jokes to the crowd and get the same immediate response [as during stand-up], I'd do that.”

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