"British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!"

--

Source : "Jimmy Carr's 40 most memorable jokes: One-liners and videos galore to mark comic's 40th birthday" by Rob Leigh, www.mirror.co.uk. September 14, 2012.

Jimmy Carr

#Funny Quotes #Children Quotes #Use Quotes

“I can't be an ingenue forever, and I wouldn't want to be.”
“You have to realize: OK, I don't know how to solve a political problem, I don't know how to solve the pollution problem... all I know is in my own life, I need to figure out some sense of purpose, I need to figure out how to be happy... and I'm willing.”
“If President Clinton has his way, we will have a false debate in the 1996 election campaign. It will not engage real political choices - choices framed by our appetite for government services and our distaste for taxes - but rather artificial choices crafted by Clinton to advance his reelection. Clinton has clearly been using the budget as an election platform...I dislike using the word 'lies,' but Clinton exploits such forbearance (widespread in the press) to spread untruths.”
“Wagnerâ€™s music is better than it sounds.”
“You can't have real pain without real love. You can't feel grief and loss and hurt without real love. Love is the only way you can ever be really hurt deep down.”
“The secret of happiness is the determination to be happy always, rather than wait for outer circumstances to make one happy.”
“Large cocktail parties are an infamous technique for ridding yourself of social obligations to people you usually don't know well or like much, which is such an unpromising beginning that I've rarely known one that recovered and turned into a great party.”
“In every chain of reasoning, the evidence of the last conclusion can be no greater than that of the weakest link of the chain, whatever may be the strength of the rest.”

Source : Thomas Reid, Sir William Hamilton (1850). “Essays on the Intellectual Powers of Man”, p.402

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