"I went to the butchers to buy a leg of lamb. "Is it Scotch?", I asked. "Why?" the butcher said in reply. "Are you going to talk to it or eat it?". "In that case, have you got any wild duck?". "No", he responded, "but I've got one I could aggravate for you.""

-- Chic Murray

#Funny Quotes #Humor Quotes #Scotch Quotes

“Regarding the air raid over Los Angeles it was learned by Army G2 that Rear Admiral Anderson...recovered an unidentified airplane off the coast of California...with no bearing on conventional explanation. This Headquarters has come to the determination that the mystery airplanes are in fact not earthly and, according to secret intelligence sources, they are in all probability of interplanetary origin.”
“Living means constantly growing closer to death. Satisfaction only temporarily relieves hunger. Find the balance, and plant your feet.”

Source : Jackie Morse Kessler (2010). “Hunger”, p.58, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
“Ours was not a political household, when I was growing up.”
“I wake up every morning and I wish I were dead, and so does Jim.”
“The fact is, that what de Sade was trying to bring to the surface of the conscious mind was precisely the thing that revolted that mind . . . From the very first he set before the consciousness things which it could not tolerate.”
“I learn the lines as soon as I can and then the challenge really, for filming, is to show up and be there and respond to what's around you. That's where the gold dust is. It's really strange, no amount of preparation will help you with the magic of spontaneity on the day [of filming].”
“I've been making music since I was damn near born. For me to be a producer and be on my sixteenth year making music is a blessing.”
“The more prosperity you have, the quicker you ... attract the looters and the plunderers.... And so when a country becomes richer it falls apart sooner.”

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