"Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner."

-- Jerry Seinfeld

#Love Quotes #Funny Quotes #Marriage Quotes

“When you come to 'Shark Tank,' the only person you should listen to is me, because you know you're getting the truth. I'll decide if it's worth it, and after I'm finished, the rest of the people can look into it.”
“Dieting by portion control doesnt work because one is constantly fighting addictive drives.”
“Justice is a dream. But it is a dream that we are determined to realize.”
“All revolutions are the sheerest fantasy until they happen; then they become historical inevitabilities.”
“I can tell when men are threatened by my height.”
“The last few months have seen a welcome race to the top. Consumers have sent companies a clear signal that they do not want their purchasing habits to drive deforestation and companies are responding. Better still, companies are committing to working in partnership with suppliers, governments and NGOs to strengthen forest governance and economic incentives. It can be done and this Declaration signals a real intention to accelerate action.”
“Writers build castles in the air, the reader lives inside, and the publisher inns the rent.”
“We are simply human beings. So it is important for us to treat each other in that capacity.”

You may also like:

Bill Maher
Comedian
Jason Alexander
Actor
Jessica Seinfeld
Author
Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Actress
Larry David
Actor
Louis C. K.
Comedian
Merv Griffin
Host
Michael Richards
Actor
Wale
Rapper