"Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty."

-- Amy Schumer

#Funny Quotes #Thinking Quotes #Comedy Quotes

“On the whole, mental archaeology was a sordid digging proposition. The evil men did endured, the good was infinitely more ephemeral. You could generally find out whether a man had been a horse-thief, or an embezzler or a wife-beater, if you worked hard enough, but acts of kindness, of charity, a gay spirit, vanished without leaving a trace.”
“We all deserve to be congratulated, but sadly that would mean there's no one left to do the congratulating.”

Source : Sloane Crosley (2012). “I Was Told There'd Be Cake”, p.110, Portobello Books
“After 45 years of marriage, when I have an argument with my wife, if we don't agree, we do what she wants. But, when we agree, we do what I want!”
“We feel bound to the Christian image of humanity - that is what defines us. Those who do not accept this are in the wrong place here.”
“My black friends in America don't believe me. I said, 'Dude, I'm Nigerian American.' 'Word? We thought you were, like, regular black.' What the hell is 'regular black'? Crayola coming out with colors I don't know about?”
“Flying is hypnotic and all pilots are victims to the spell. Their world is like a magic island in which the factors of life and death assume their proper values. Thinking becomes clear because there are no earthly foibles or embellishments to confuse it.”
“We are more than just our bodies, but that doesn't mean we have to be shamed for them or our sexuality.”

Source : Twitter post from Mar 30, 2016
“It's important in any project to remain focused.”

Source : Live chat, www.baltimoresun.com. May 31, 2001.

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