"Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test. Then I can say, Hey, at least I'm not pregnant"

--

Source : "Comedy Central Presents: Daniel Tosh". Documentary, Comedy, 2003.

Daniel Tosh

#Funny Quotes #Pregnancy Quotes #Home Quotes

“I make a note, set it aside, and hope it makes sense when the time comes to look at it again.”

Source : The Book Reporter interview, www.bookreporter.com. April 6, 2001.
“One of the blunders religious people are particularly fond of making is the attempt to be more spiritual than God”
“The more you get, the better you become' and therefore over the years you become more experienced and you learn how to deal with it. You know what can go wrong, and you also learn how to react if things go wrong.”

Source : Source: www.bbc.co.uk
“If you don't mind smelling like peanut butter for two or three days, peanut butter is darn good shaving cream.”
“Your memory is your first and best weapon, ladies. Learn to use it.”

Source : Ally Carter (2008). “Cross My Heart and Hope to Spy (B&N Custom Pub)”, Hyperion
“The Heart is like a fuel tank, that you always have to keep filling up with Imaan”
“They, who would combat general authority with particular opinion, must first establish themselves a reputation of understanding better than other men.”
“I never worked with a dialogue coach before, but I'd hate it if an American did a British accent and didn't do it well. It would be insulting.”

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