"I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs."

-- Demetri Martin

#Funny Quotes #Song Quotes #Pockets Quotes

“One must have a good memory to keep the promises one has made.”
“It was like walking into a treasure trove of books, hoarded by pirate librarians.”
“On our earth, before writing was invented, before the printing press was invented, poetry flourished. That is why we know that poetry is like bread; it should be shared by all, by scholars and by peasants, by all our vast, incredible, extraordinary family of humanity.”
“I used to have Bible studies at my house. I was in the choir. I was mischievous but also a real mama's boy. It was a pretty happy childhood.”
“Wherever smart people work, doors are unlocked.”

Source : Saturday keynote speech, The Fifth HOPE (Hackers on Planet Earth) Conference, July 10, 2004.
“Stab the body and it heals, but injure the heart and the wound lasts a lifetime.”
“Let me guess,â€ Eli said, his voice that low, even timbre, as always. â€œDrinking from kegs also falls under outdoor activity.â€ I just looked at him, standing there in jeans and the same blue hoodie heâ€™d had on the first time I met him. Maybe it was the embarrassment, which had been bad enough before I had an audience, but I was instantly annoyed. I said, â€œAre we outside?â€ He glanced round, as if needing to confirm this. â€œNope.â€ â€œThen no.â€ I turned my attention back to the keg.”
“The second noble truth states that we must discover why we are suffering. We must cultivate the courage to look deeply, with clarity and courage, into our own suffering. We often hold the tacit assumption that all of our suffering stems from events in the past. But, whatever the initial seed of trauma, the deeper truth is that our suffering is more closely a result of how we deal with the effect these past events have on us in the present.”

You may also like:

Bo Burnham
Comedian
Bobby Moynihan
Actor
Chris Hardwick
Comedian
Emo Philips
Entertainer
Fred Melamed
Actor
Ken Marino
Actor
Mitch Hedberg
Comedian
Rob Corddry
Actor
Steven Wright
Comedian