"My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her, so I said "Alright, fatty.""

-- Jimmy Carr

#Funny Quotes #Girlfriend Quotes #Comedy Quotes

“All literature is written by the old to teach the young how to express themselves so that they in turn may write literature to teach the old how to express themselves. All literature is written by mentally precocious adolescents and by mentally precocious senescents.”
“I only appear to be dead.”
“When 20,000 people applaud you as you walk out to do your job, it should be an inspiration.”
“The Rosary is my favorite prayer. A marvelous prayer! Marvelous in its simplicity and its depth. In the prayer we repeat many times the words that the Virgin Mary heard from the Archangel, and from her kinswoman Elizabeth.”
“I can let you in, Eva. Iâ€™m trying. But your first response when I screw up is to run away. You do it every time and I canâ€™t stand feeling like any moment Iâ€™m going to do or say something wrong and youâ€™re going to bolt.”
“Every time you take a train, step into your car, walk into the shopping mall, go to the airport - every single time, something could happen. That's how terrorism works.”
“Faith is that quality or power by which the things desired become the things possessed.”

Source : Kathryn Kuhlman (1973). “Captain LeVrier believes in miracles”
“After each creative act one has to be sustained by one's strength of character, by a moral sense, by I don't know what, lest one tumble.”

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