"But we live in an age, ladies and gentlemen, where we are keeping morons alive in our gene pools by putting warnings on items that should not require warnings. The hotel I am staying in has a hair dryer, on the cord of the hair dryer there is a warning and this is what it says: â€œWarning! Do not use in shower!â€ Ladies and gentlemen if you have a friend who wants to use their hair dryer in the shower, you let them."

-- Wil Anderson

#Hair Quotes #Gentleman Quotes #Age Quotes

“I suppose what one wants really is ideal company and books are ideal company.”

Source : "Just don't mention Jane Austen". Interview with Robert McCrum, www.theguardian.com. January 27, 2001.
“Allyson Smith reminds me of a younger, prettier, funnier me. Now if you'll excuse me, the ladies from my bridge club have arrived.”
“We frequently hear how essential it is for someone to think "outside the box," but what actually determines one's facility for doing so? In other words, what skills make someone a creative thinker? Typically, creative thinkers can view issues from multiple perspectives, define problems in several different ways, and anticipate likely obstacles. Someone's aptitude for these skills determines how well he or she will perform as a creative thinker.”
“I do not believe that the government is in any position to say exactly how every single business and every single activity shall reach those performances.”
“You can spend your whole life building a wall of facts between you and anything real.”
“You better have great practices.”
“No, you can take it from an expert in cover-ups-I've lived through Watergate-that nothing less than a resurrected Christ could have caused those men to maintain to their dying whispers that Jesus is alive and is Lord. Two thousand years later, nothing less than the power of the risen Christ could inspire Christians around the world to remain faithful-despite prison, torture, and death.”
“Don't allow missed opportunities of the past interfere with the opportunities that are right before you.”

You may also like:

Adam Hills
Comedian
Andrew Denton
Television producer
Anh Do
Author
Arj Barker
Comedian
Carl Barron
Comedian
Dave Anthony
Stand-up comedian
Greg Behrendt
Stand-up comedian
Shaun Micallef
Actor
Charlie Pickering
Television presenter