"She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair."

-- Red Skelton

#Funny Marriage Quotes #Gadgets Quotes #Bread Quotes

“People in the news media after I got caught said how could you have not caught this guy? He had 50 corrections in four years. That's a lot of corrections. Well what they failed to look at is how many stories there were and out of 700 plus stories, 50 corrections is not a high amount.”
“In golf, humiliations are the essence of the game.”
“I don't have a Madonna-sized fan base, so I can actually e-mail and talk to everyone that e-mails me, because I am totally appreciative and I like my fans!”

Source : "Sponsor Jill Sobule's album, get a spot on it". Interview with Denise Quan, www.cnn.com. March 24, 2009.
“I realize that I was all error and deviation, that I never lived, that I existed only in so far as I filled time with consciousness and thought.”
“Although the Jeffersonian Law ("All men are created equal") is the first article of the American faith, the facts of American life have demonstrated for some time now that it is an irksome faith to live by.”

Source : Alistair Cooke (2014). “America Observed: From the 1940s to the 1980s”, p.141, Open Road Media
“No one in my family has ever died of love. What happened, happened, but nothing myth-inspiring.”
“[On Peter III:] He did not have a bad heart; but a weak man usually has not.”
“It is not every calamity that is a curse, and early adversity is often a blessing. Surmounted difficulties not only teach, but hearten us in our future struggles.”

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