"It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously"

#Funny Quotes #Witty Quotes #Humor Quotes

“The secret weapon is cucumber.' Solange sat all the way up. 'Jasmine, cover your ears.' MaryAnn, Juliette and Jasmine burst out laughing. 'Sheesh, Solange. Get your mind out of the gutter.' 'MY mind is just fine, thank you. It's MaryAnn's I'm concerned about.' 'You put them on your eyes,' MaryAnn said, laughing even harder.”
“Love goes through all times”
“Elvis might have compromised his musical style a bit towards the end, but that doesn't mean that artists from the rock n' roll/folk-roots culture - of which he was not really a part - shouldn't get better as they get older, like the great jazz or blues artists.”
“Look - There's good creepy and there's bad creepy. Today's creepy is tomorrow's necessity.”
“My wife runs the house much better than I could so I think she could be a linesman or a referee or even a football manager and that's the truth.”
“Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.”
“As a medical doctor, it is my duty to evaluate the situation with as much data as I can gather and as much expertise as I have and as much experience as I have to determine whether or not the wish of the patient is medically justified.”

Source : "Years of Minutes: The Best of Rooney from 60 Minutes". Book by Andy Rooney, 2004.
“If you take the 'love your enemy' out of Christianity, you've 'unChristianed' the Christian faith.”

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