"You're only as good as your last haircut."

-- Fran Lebowitz

#Funny Quotes #Witty Quotes #Humorous Quotes

“If you leave your wife and you don't ever contact her again, that says something about how you felt about the marriage.”
“We all nurture impulses which promise freedom from the demands of others, even if that freedom means death.”
“I saw a news report recently that measured average video game use by American men between the ages of twenty-five and thirty-five: twenty hours per week. Do you mean the flower of America's masculinity can't think of anything more important to do with twenty hours a week than sit in front of a video screen? Folks, this ain't normal. Can't we unplug already?”
“I was filming a movie in London, and I drove through Ireland. It was quite beautiful, and the countryside was really remarkable. The contrast between the countryside and Ireland, and the murals there, with Northern Ireland still being a part of the United Kingdom, there's just a stark contrast in those two things. And I found that the art that came out of the conflict was really spectacular because it was about remembering either events or points of view for local neighborhoods, or the rallying cries of one side against the other.”
“The reality is I'm kind of like an ocean. Everything is calm, calm, calm. I'm good. When the ball goes up in the air, the waves start rocking.”
“I went to an all-girls Catholic school. And all the nuns just breathed down our necks "abstinence." And that's not the right thing to do. It does not work. Kids will not listen to that. They're going to experiment no matter what, so you have to be honest. You have to say, "You know what, if you're gonna do it, at least think about the consequences and get protection.”
“I made my money by selling too soon.”
“If you don't think that your country should come before yourself, you can better serve your country by livin' someplace else.”

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