"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house."

-- Lewis Grizzard

#Funny Quotes #Marriage Quotes #Hilarious Quotes

“Had we lived, I should have had a tale to tell of the hardihood, endurance and courage of my companions which would have stirred the heart of every Englishman. These rough notes and our dead bodies must tell the tale, but surely, a great rich country like ours will see that those who are dependent on us are properly provided for.”

Source : "Message to the Public," Times (London), 11 Feb. 1913
“I really got consumed with the idea of how people who are deemed crazy or insane often have a firmer grasp on reality than normal people. The average person goes through life thinking it will go on forever.”

Source : Interview with Ian Cohen, pitchfork.com. January 23, 2013.
“Anonymous sources are a practice of American journalism in the 20th and 21st century, a relatively recent practice. The literary tradition of anonymity goes back to the Bible.”
“As I look around on Sunday morning at the people populating the pews, I see the risk that God has assumed. For whatever reason, God now reveals himself in the world not through a pillar of smoke and fire, not even through the physical body of his Son in Galilee, but through the mongrel collection that comprises my local church and every other such gathering in Godâ€™s name. (p. 68, Church: Why Bother?)”
“[ Alfred Kinsey] was sexually abusing those children and had sex abusers working for him to stimulate the babies.”
“To succeed in your mission, you must have single-minded devotion to your goal”
“I'm just giving you some spiel, the ludicrous plot of a novel, a story I invented to touch your heartâ€”one-third bullshit, one-third booze, and one-third genuine tenderness, you know the kind of thing.”
“...Each of you, Jew and gentile alike, who has not already enlisted in the sacred war should do so now...”

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