"I figure I wrote 37 songs in 20 years, and that's not exactly a full-time job. It wasn't that I was writing and writing and writing and quit."

-- Tom Lehrer

#Song Quotes #Jobs Quotes #Writing Quotes

“I love looking after animals. I find it very enjoyable.”
“My weapon isn't my shot. It's me.”
“God takes the most eminent and choicest of His servants for the choicest and most eminent afflictions. They who have received most grace from God are able to bear most afflictions from God. Affliction does not hit the saint by chance, but by direction. God does not draw His bow at a venture. Every one of His arrows goes upon a special errand and touches no breast but his against whom it is sent. It is not only the grace, but the glory of a believer when we can stand and take affliction quietly”
“He has made us the master organizers of the world . . . to overwhelm the forces of reaction throught the earth . . . . This is the divine mission of America . . . . We are trustees of the world's progress, guardians of its righteous peace. [Progressive]”
“Chocolate is not cheating! After a salty meal, you need a little bit of sweet. This is living, not cheating.”
“You can kiss my Kiss-loving ***** because Kiss was never a critic's band. It was a people's band.”
“I was an amazing bartender and a great waiter. I think, in a way, that was my acting school.”

Source : Interview with Ken Plume, asitecalledfred.com. September 2005.
“I don't watch football anymore, I gave that up. I got tired of the interviews after the games, because the winning players always give credit to God, and the losers blame themselves. You know, just once I'd like to hear a player say, 'Yeah, we were in the game, until Jesus made me fumble. He hates our team.”

Source : "Comedy Central Presents: Jeff Stilson". Documentary, Comedy, 2003.

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