"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."

-- Patrick Murray

#Funny Quotes #Hilarious Quotes #Wife Quotes

“I see no reason that a golf course cannot be played in 18 birdies. Just because no one has ever done that doesn't mean it can't be done.”
“I spent an incredible amount of time during my teaching career serving on committees. I now regard the lion's share of the time spent in committee work as having been wasted. One of the great lessons learned by those who achieve is how to manage time.”

Source : Source: bobmorris.biz
“He did not arrive at this conclusion by the decent process of quiet, logical deduction, nor yet by the blinding flash of glorious intuition, but by the shoddy, untidy process halfway between the two by which one usually gets to know things.”

Source : Margery Allingham (2016). “Margery Allingham Box Set 2: Flowers for the Judge, Death of a Ghost, and The Case of the Late Pig”, p.120, Ipso Books
“I'm a jerk, that's who I am. I'm like everybody else.”
“If you change the rules on what controls you... you will change the rules on what you can control.”
“I love Kelly Clarkson.”
“Write it on your forehead, write it on your heart, on your third chakra, on your second chakra and your first chakra. You will never go short, never will you have less. God will prevail by God's True Nature. If you have discomfort and hunger say, "God, that is Thy Virtue. Thank you for accepting me for that tragedy." This is the attitude of gratitude. "My shackles will be removed by Thy Will." God is so great, to Him the whole of what we have is just like a sesame seed.”
“We need the iron qualities that go with true manhood. We need the positive virtues of resolution, of courage, of indomitable will, of power to do without shrinking the rough work that must always be done.”

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