"The best thing about humour is that it shows people they are not alone."

-- Sid Caesar

#Witty Quotes #People Quotes #Humour Quotes

“I think I would never be ready to do a regular job. I couldnâ€™t go to the office every day at the same hour. I love my life. This freedom.”
“We suffer the stress of infinite opportunity: There are so many things that we could do, and all we see are people who seem to be performing at star quality. It's very hard not to try to be like them. The problem is, if you get wrapped up in that game, you'll get eaten alive. You can do anything-but not everything. The universe is full of creative projects that are waiting to be done. So, if you really care about quality of life, if you want to relax, then ... control your aspirations. That will simplify things. Learning to set boundaries is incredibly difficult for most people.”
“If you do not know how to ask the right question, you discover nothing.”
“The vigour of civilised societies is preserved by the widespread sense that high aims are worth while. Vigorous societies harbour a certain extravagance of objectives, so that men wander beyond the safe provision of personal gratifications. All strong interests easily become impersonal, the love of a good job well done. There is a sense of harmony about such an accomplishment, the Peace brought by something worth while. Such personal gratification arises from aim beyond personality.”
“Back when I played, basketball was all about fundamentals, about hustling, getting those loose balls, all those rebounds under the basket. That equals up to 12, 14, 16 points. You can lose a game with that much. It's different watching basketball now. People don't play the same way. It doesn't matter if you score, if you can't stop the other team from scoring. Our coach used to kick our ***** if we didn't. I was told if you saw more of the other team color under the basket than your own team color, you ain't doing your job. Everybody should be under the board, trying to get that ball.”
“Maybe i would become a mermaid... i would live in the swirling blue-green currents, doing exotic underwater dances for the fish, kissed by sea anemones, caressed by seaweed shawls. I would have a doliphin friend. He would have merry eyes and thick flesh of a god. My fingernails would be tiny shells and my skin would be like jade with light shining through it I would never have to come back up”
“I am a guest of the French language. My poems in French are born of my interaction with the French language, which is not the same as that of a French poet.”
“Try to understand me. Nothing is impossible.”

Source : "How to Become President". Book by Gracie Allen, 1940.

You may also like:

Buddy Hackett
Comedian
Carl Reiner
Comedian
Eve Arden
Actress
Imogene Coca
Comic
Joan Blondell
Film actress
Jonathan Winters
Comedian
Mel Brooks
Film director
Milton Berle
Comedian
Neil Simon
Playwright