"If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized."

--

Oscar Wilde

#Funny Quotes #Sarcastic Quotes #Witty Quotes

“Peace requires us to surrender our illusions of control.”
“I realized that the secret to golf isn't how low you shoot when it's going good, it's how to make your bad rounds better.”
“There is no sin in not liking to play; it's a mistake for a boy to be there if he doesn't want to.”
“He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes a book.”
“My first time I jacked off, I thought I'd invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich.”
“It's a new era at Disney. From now on, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs will be known as Person of No Color and the Seven Vertically Challenged Individuals.”
“The real exertion in the case of an opera singer lies not so much in her singing as in her acting of a role, for nearly every modern opera makes great dramatic and physical demands.”
“..Since depression is a genetic biological illness, like diabetes, or low thyroid, it wasn't lack of character, laziness, or something I could "snap out of"-it would be like trying to snap out of a toothache.”

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