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“I like books that are funny, but that aren't trying to be funny. I like situational humor.”
Source : Source: collider.com
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“Management has no divine rights.”
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“Consciousness of myself, combined with complete ignorance of everything that does not fall within my sphere of thinking, is the most telling proof of my substantiality outside God, of my original existence”
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“I held a moment in my hand, brilliant as a star, fragile as a flower, a tiny sliver of one hour. I dripped it carelessly, Ah! I didn't know, I held opportunity.”
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“I was depressed as a child. I found it hard to make friends. My favourite thing was locking myself in the bathroom and practising comedy routines.”
Source : "Walliams on love, sexuality and loneliness" by David Smith, www.theguardian.com. February 21, 2009. 
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“There are lots of stories about my culture that I think bring a whole other perspective to who we are and where we have been and how we got here that I think need to be done.”
Source : Simon Critchley, Carl Cederström, Todd Kesselman (2011). “Impossible Objects”, p.31, Polity
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“Love affair. Doesn't that sound so middle-aged? And also ill-fated. Like ill-fated is an understood prefix to love affair. Well, ill-fated is fine, as long as it's a meaty and fraught ill-fated love affair, not a pale and insipid one.”
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“Knowledge cannot be stolen from us. It cannot be bought or sold. We may be poor, and the sheriff may come and sell our furniture, or drive away our cow, or take our pet lamb, and leave us homeless and penniless; but he cannot lay the law's hand upon the jewelry of our minds.”
