#Ass Quotes #Holes Quotes #Knows Quotes
“Grandma's on the front porch with a Bible in her hand, sometimes I hear her singing take me to the promised land.”
“A dead grief is easier to bear than a live trouble.”
“I'd like to give every young teacher some good news. Teaching is a very easy job. Administrators will tell you what to do. You'll be given books and told chapters to assign the children. Veteran teachers will show you the correct way to fill out forms and have your classes line up.And here's some more good news. If you do all of these things badly, they let you keep doing it. You can go home at three o'clock every day. You get about three months off a year. Teaching is a great gig.However, if you care about what you're doing, it's one of the toughest jobs around.”
“Owning a dog is slightly less expensive than being addicted to crack.”
“Consequence is no coincidence.”
“Up until the time I was 14 years old, I was sure that I was going to be a big-league baseball player. But that dream came to a rude awakening when I got cut from my high school baseball team.”
“It is a very solemn delusion when ministers think they are prospering, and yet do not hear of conversions.”
“We're letting [technology] take us places that we don't want to go.”
Andrew Kaufman Writer
