"Justin Halpern tosses lightning bolts of laughter out of his pocket like he is shooting dice in a back alley. In one sweep of a paragraph, he ranges from hysterical to disgusting to touching--and does it all seamlessly. Sh*t My Dad Says is a really, really funny book."

-- Laurie Notaro

#Laughter Quotes #Dad Quotes #Book Quotes

“I never think I have finished a nude until I think I could pinch it.”
“A government afraid of its citizens is a Democracy. Citizens afraid of government is tyranny!”
“Life is to be used, not just held in the hand like a box of bonbons that nobody eats.”

Source : John Dos Passos (1921). “Three Soldiers”, p.322
“If people will be censors, let them weigh their words. I mean that the words were unfair by that disproportionateness of the condemnation, which everybody with some conscience must feel to be one of the great difficulties in denouncing a particular person. Every unpleasant dog is only one of many, but we kick him because he comes in our way, and there is always some want of distributive justice in the kicking.”
“You can write a 1st paragraph that continues the same thought you expressed in your headline. If you stop a reader with a headline about house paint, you can be sure of at least one thing about that reader: He wants more info about house paint. You will not lose him as long as you continue to give him what he wants.”
“Everybody is an expert in giving advice on how you cannot do something. So forget about everybody. And then, when you encounter a hurdle-and I do that every week-view it as an opportunity, not the end of the world. Do whatever you need to do to get past it quickly. If you believe in your dream, you'll definitely get there.”
“I learned a long time ago that there is something worse than missing the goal, and that's not pulling the trigger.”
“The nicest veterans in Schenectady, I thought, the kindest and funniest ones, the ones who hated war the most, were the ones who'd really fought.”

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