Bruce Lansky famous quotes

We learn so many things from golf: how to suffer, for instance.
-- Bruce Lansky

#Golf #Suffering #Instance

On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20 percent lied.
-- Bruce Lansky

#Cheating #Golf #Lied

I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.
-- Bruce Lansky

#Beer #Golf #Play

Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.
-- Bruce Lansky

#Golf #Thinking #Wife

Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.
-- Bruce Lansky

#Golf #Talking #Balls

You always nag the one you love
-- Bruce Lansky

#One You Love

Some golfers fantasize about playing in a foursome with Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, and Sam Snead. The way I hit I'd rather play in a foursome with Helen Keller, Ray Charles, and Stevie Wonder.
-- Bruce Lansky

#Golf #Play #Rays

The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.
-- Bruce Lansky

#Golf #Bags #Bugs

What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?
-- Bruce Lansky

#Golf #Water #Balls

I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.
-- Bruce Lansky

#Golf #Thinking #Long

My psychiatrist prescribed a game of golf as an antidote to the feelings of euphoria I experience from time to time.
-- Bruce Lansky

#Golf #Games #Feelings

The only place you're sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother.
-- Bruce Lansky

#Mother #Love Is #Finding Love

In Minnesota it's so cold some nights you have to wear two condoms.
-- Bruce Lansky

#Night #Two #Minnesota

My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I taught her how to play golf.
-- Bruce Lansky

#Golf #Play #People

I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing. Now I go to practice slicing without swearing.
-- Bruce Lansky

#Golf #Practice #Driving